Well, now that we’re done with the introductions, let’s get to the heart of the matter, gently to begin. One day I read my first -written with the feet- Harry Styles fanfic and…
- Harry Styles as “Harry!”
- A heroine as The Heroine or the girl
- My lover as The Boyfriend
- Me as The Innocent Not So Innocent Heroine Of The Real Life
- Miss Prickly as My Pink Conscience That Stings
Me, Wattpad and its cryptic tags
#Romance #Love #HarryStyles #Lemon
« What’s the relationship between Harry Styles and a lemon?
That’s a good question. Let’s take a look.
Harry, our hero, was blessed by the gods.
He’s a beautiful guy of course. Tall. Muscular, but not too much. Dark curly hair -very important the curls, so the girls put the fingers in- Cute dimples when he smiles. And amazing blue eyes …
Comment from FuckMeHarry: GREEN EYES!!!!
Comment from LoveHarryStyles: His eyes are green!
-> Response from Adirectioner: It’s strange, on some pictures it seems they’re blue. But they’re green for real!
Comment from Anonymous: GREEN! BITCH!
Oops, did I say blue?
-> Response from TheAuthor: Green of course! I deeply apologize. Sorry, sorry, sorry! They’ll be green in chapter two, I promise.
So… Wonderful eyes with stars inside -Yep, stars- The tattoos are optional -damn- Boxers or briefs? Black boxers or nothing.
Anyway, Harry’s sexy.
He’s also very talented. He’s a bright student.
Even if he spends most of his time in fraternity parties, playing “Truth or Dare”, drinking beer in red cups -the pink vodka is for the girls and paper cups are always red, don’t know why- and sleeping around. Until he meets The Heroine, of course. Then the other girls won’t have more than the eyes to cry. And sometimes he plays football too.
But most of all, Harry likes whispering dirty things to his sex-friends or to beautiful strangers. He’s pretty good with his fingers. And he can do many, many things with his tongue…
« AWW… !
— What are you doing, Bab? IT’S LATE!
Oops, The Boyfriend…
— What am I doing?
— Uh… ‘ reading a ahem… “fiction” about Harry Styles and I… Nooo, am I…?
— Yep, Ma’am you are…!
— Researches! For a new story.
— What a naughty girl!
— Coming in few minutes, honey.
— Hope you’re up to it…
Quick! Where was l?
Oh yeah, with a Handsome Devil Sexy As Hell, who smells of male and washing powder -even when he just ran 6 miles- drives an expensive powerful car, sleeps in a king-size bed, with black sheets -Alone. Always. No one-nighters in his room. Never. Until he meets The Heroine- and who has also a….
« Supermassive C…!!! »
With the capital letters and the three exclamation marks in the original text, please! Because only “supermassive” wasn’t big enough.
Choke on my pink v… TEA
«WHAT? Noooo, really?
— Yes Ma’am, the gods too are watching You Porn!
— Crap… Suddenly I’m cooled…
And The Heroine, is she?
In real life, when you see such a prodigy of nature –Not that often, elsewhere than on the web, isn’t it? And usually not in chapter One… Though sometimes…– Anyway, ordinarily in front of such a “Supernatural… Toy!” You don’t dream of “The Big O!” You just feel a “Supermassive Black Hole!” in your stomach and an irrepressible urge to run away. Far and quickly.
Not in fanfics. Never.
Our fearless Heroine drops right down to her knees and … Falls in love. Because he has so beautiful eyes, of course!
Who is she that lucky young woman?
She’s charming and small -All Harry’s girlfriends are small in fanfics, don’t ask me why- She’s approximately 17 years old and she lives alone, most of the time, because her parents are off doing something that matters -Counting kiwis in New Zealand- The further away the better. It’s more convenient to get laid and to try funny experiences.
And Harry and his brand-new girlfriend try some … a lot… and in great detail.
Sooo… Since the innocent parents of that lovely girl are not counting lemons in Mexico, I take it that “Lemon” means: Explicit -Dirty- Sex! Am I right?
Who wrote that?
Let’s see the author’s presentation :
« Hello Girls! I’m 14 -SERIOUSLY?- and I wrote this story because I love Harry so very very much!!! Hope you’ll like it! Hug, Hug ♥♥
Is she an exception, that young girl who could consider a career of scriptwriter for the porn industry? -Is there such a thing? I’m not sure- Let’s click on the #Lemon to see.
She’s not! They are hundreds, teenagers or a little older but not so much.
And those who read those stories, how many are they?
Thousands or even millions in the case of AFTER! The bestseller “TwoFingers.0” written by Anna Todd, on Wattpad, with a phone. A kind of mix between a Harry Styles fanfic and Fifty Shades of Grey -itself a Twilight BDSM fanfic- Not totally porn but not so far and pretty disturbing too somehow:
« Harry’s character (Hardin) “behaves at best like a prick, at worst like an abusive boyfriend in the making” -Full article on Jezebel blog-
TOTALLY CONFUSED AND TROUBLED.
And because tags are magic, it was just a beginning and a pretty soft one…
« Sweetheart, come to bed now, please. I miss you!
— OMG! I forgot The Boyfriend, F…k!
Actually no, not tonight, I have a headache.
On Wattpad, the chapters are written and posted one at a time and readers can leave comments on each one. It’s better then to be accurate when you describe Harry’s eyes, hair or tattoos.
But the most common comment is still :
Next chapter -please- quick!
So quick! Next chapter: Fuck me Harry!
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-The most of the time-