Love rape-culture and piracy

Beautiful Bastards

Part 3: Old Trucks, Colourful Wild Life & Piracy

Usually, I don’t talk about this chapter in my life.

Am I ashamed?

For what happened, no, I’m not, absolutely not. I have already been judged, anyway and to all these people who called me a slut, who call women sluts, I have one thing to say:

It's never too late to tell fuck off

For what I have done to that guy, who shared that with me, yes I’m. I always will be ashamed for that. Sometimes life is a bitch, sometimes you’re the bitch and you must live with that. I live with that.

And finally, how all this turned out?

Now is the moment when I tell you my life, a little bit. Maybe because I’m so happy I have one and that all didn’t suddenly stop when I was 20, that I didn’t succeed in killing myself, that I didn’t overdose, that I didn’t definitely lose my mind and that I didn’t become a literature teacher -Even if literature teachers are great people!-

First, I hit the bottom and even lower and I lost the man I loved, of course. Or he lost me, I don’t know exactly. We probably lost each other. Too young, too painful, too crazy, too deep in the dark, too far in the west, too much fears, too much tears, too difficult…

The Ex & Tom Cora -State Of Shock – “Scrabbling At The Lock” Album

Youth, Punk & Cello…
«I’m moving towards a state of shock, repeats again of what’s already been said. Outside they’re selling pieces of rock… But hey, one day I’m gonna find this precious frog. Might be my princess, maybe her name is Fred. Those stupid clouds will fade to reveal my thanks. This state of shock is a merry-go-round. Sure, one can hide but there’s a world outside. Must be pretty safe under a fire-proof blanket…»

And one day I started to feel better. I stopped being scared and hiding myself. I stopped taking a step back every time a guy was getting a little too close, was drunk or was speaking loudly. I gave up pills, alcohol and drugs and never touched them again and I started to live.

I was 24.

I changed everything in my life and things spun out of control…

I never came back to college. I never graduated high school. I packed up my bags,  my books, my paints and my accordion, moved to the south of France, where winters aren’t so fucking cold, and I became a king of pirate.

I never stole any traffic sign or anything else!

I bought myself a damn beautiful, bid, bad, truck older than me and a toolbox… I found a nice mechanic to help me and show me a couple of tricks. We swore like sailors and got our hands and our overalls dirty, laughed and grumbled a lot, but we finally made it run straight. -Approximately- I painted it dark red and black, built a cosy cottage inside and I moved further.

On the way, I adopted an amazing and demoniac, black, green-eyed lady cat, mean as a snake -Code name: Wicked Witch Of The West- which couldn’t stand anyone but me, and snarled and hissed so hard at a guy who was trying to get in, one night, that he took to his heels, yelling to his mates:

« That bitch has a fucking wild beast in her truck!
Call me a bitch once more, and I open the door, so you can have a closer look on it, ass hole…

And I laughed so much that I almost peed my pants… Before I turned the key and drove about 20 miles, in my night clothes, just to be sure he’d not come back.

  • Lesson One: Bastards are everywhere, even in the middle of nowhere.

The next day, I bought a crowbar, put it close at hand, under my bed -I’ve never had use for it and that’s a good thing. Because it means that nice guys still outnumber others- and I continued my journey.

SG2 Truck

It’s not mine, but it’s the same…

Here and there. New experiences. New people. Good friends, very good friends, nice guys, ass holes and sexy… girl? Well, after all, why not? Sex, love and rock & roll. Flowers, sheep, vegetable gardens and the fucking sheep eating the flowers in the gardens. Music, arts, books and writing. Woodworking and masonry in old villages, lost in the mountains. Mechanic work, DIY and cooking. Concerts, parties and good food around huge tables…

« Who for the dishes?
Strange, I could have sworn 40 people were sitting there, just a minute ago…

Colourful houses, colourful people, colourful messed-up hair and clothes, colourful old trucks, colourful life and colourful, wild kids, who get your stuff all over the place, make a catastrophic mess with your paints and don’t miss a trick…

— Bloody hell… what?… WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? KIDS, come over here, RIGHT NOW! Who did this?
— Not me…
— I don’t know!
— Neither do I!
–There were flies here, earlier, maybe it’s the flies…
— The fli…? THE FLIES!!! Did the flies spread paint all over your faces, too? You’re going to clean up this mess and quickly! After we need to put -drown- you into a bath!
— Could you help us?
— What… NO WAY! Ask to the flies! And hurry up!
The flies… I’ll give you fucking flies…

— Hey, could you tell us a story?
— Please?
— Yeah sure, come here. Sit down on the bed. So, what kind of story?
— A scary one, with monsters!
— Or pirates. Princess stories suck!
— Yeah, it sucks! Don’t like princesses…
— Neither do I. Well, then a pirates story. I love pirates. But stop saying bad words, or I send you back to your mums, without any story!
Crap, these kids are little savages…

Colourful wild flies, so beautiful when they are asleep… And poetic mechanic lovers who should better watch their language in front of the kids…

— Oh my god, darling you have the most beautiful engine ever!
— Uh… Thank you. But I’m not your…
— Don’t call me darling, please.
— OK, sorry. But I want this engine! Love it. Need it. Sell me your damn truck!
— What? NO! It’s my house…
— Well, then marry me. Mine is bigger than yours. I can make some room for you and you no longer need your engine…
— I don’t want to live in a wheeled garage! And I don’t want to marry you. Hand me the wrench, now. Me, my cosy, small truck and its beautiful engine, we’d like to move before the night comes!
— Ouch, you broke my mechanical heart! Look what you’ve done, I’m crying oily, black tears on your fucking engine!
— What a poet!

  • Lesson Two: The guys who call you darling are not all bastards. Let the past behind you or you could miss out on nice people and wonderful friends.

Artistes, musicians and dreamers. Squats, underground scenes and epic evenings behind the bar or in front of it… Travelling in the countryside one day, driving into town another one, on the road again and mechanic work once more…

  • Lesson Three: Beautiful, old trucks are just like beautiful, tattooed guys, it’s better to take a look under the hood before you buy them. It’s too late, you already got fucked? Grab your wrench and kick their ass until they go straight.

And one day, I found a handsome pirate sexy as hell on my way. Amazing eyes and smile and…


Shaka Ponk -Let’s Bang- “The Geeks and the Jerkin’ Socks” Album (AdnSound Session)

The Wicked Witch Of The West fell in love the second she saw him and me… Well me, I knew right away that this guy wasn’t a pirate like the others. So, I took to my heels… and spent the next weeks regretting it and sewing pink hearts on my black flag, telling me what a stupid, wimpy, idiot I was….

Girly black flagSo, one of my friends took things into her own hands. To sum up, she led a mutiny, plotted behind my back, like a sneaky scoundrel, to put him on my way a second time, and kicked my ass, until I raised my girly black flag, went on board and kidnapped him. I made him my co-pilot and I still didn’t ask for a ransom…

Love, Love, LOVE, LOVE & OOPS…

— Honey, we need to talk. Wait for me, just a minute. Before, I need to vomit…

And the most beautiful baby boy ever. Epic nights, baby boy number two, wonderful eyes and smile, just like his father, epic nights and days and baby girl -Code name: Wicked Witch Of The West. THE REAL TRUE ONE HERSELF- The evil cat and the boys before, it was just a joke, a little preview. -Real name -Lilith-

  • Lesson Four: Demonic names are maybe not a good idea. Or maybe, it’s just that she looks a little too much to her mum… But a girl who doesn’t let anybody step on her toes it’s great, no? Exhausting but great…

And finally, I lowered the black flag, sold my beautifully engined, antique truck, settled my handsome sexy pirate and our own colourful wild kids -Apples usually don’t fall far from the trees- in a true house, lost in a peaceful country place, with good schools, and nice French, English and German neighbours, and I bought a computer.

Next step, an Iphone? Fuck no, there’s no mobile phone connection, where I live. It’s still a bit too far in the west. But who knows? The crows bring us the internet, so maybe someday…

I love my “bohemian life” -as my mum would say- but 4 years in hell, it was still very long.

As you may have noticed, there’s not a single picture of Harry Styles in this post. For the simple reason that I don’t want to put his face on bastards who beat, abuse and rape women. I think that he deserves a bit of respect, like everyone else. He’s a true person, with feelings and emotions, not only a beautiful guy on pictures, and I’m not sure he would be very happy to be described in this way.


I certainly don’t wet my pants at the thought of getting hit and raped on the floor of the kitchen by Harry Styles. There’re much more interesting things, that could be done with him in a kitchen or anywhere else, I guess. And not only naughty ones…

Do you?

Well, what a chatterbox!

When I started writing this very musical, huge post, I never thought I’d have so much things to tell. But now, at least, you know me a little better. I’m not exactly sure If that’s a good thing, or not…

Credit image: Piracy and Sweetsments COOKIES made by Freepik and adapted by myself.


Please share it or leave me a comment. I’m sweet and I don’t bite.
-The most of the time-

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Happy girlfriend. Pirate mum. Baby writer. Baby blogger. Books, arts, music and sexy-cute, tattooed guys lover. Are you a princess? Neither am I.

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